When Hardship Hits

          Today started a normal Friday. Now there is a name and a story I can't get out of my head. Just like any other day this week, I did some school and went in to my new job. But unlike any other day this week, there has been much grief in my heart over the circumstance that accumulated Wednesday night only one mile from my house.
          That Wednesday was like any other Wednesday - school, work, youth group, assignments. But I do recall seeing on the way home something out of the ordinary. As I pulled to a stop where Mohr Road hits St. Joseph Avenue, I saw coming over the hill two medics (ambulances). Proceeding through the intersection, I noticed that they both took a right turn on St. Joe and headed south toward a hill. What I didn't know was that a horrific event had happened just on the other side of that hill only hours earlier. My older brother, Michael, had told me after I got home that something had happened, but he didn't know any details. Yesterday, however, the news came to me that a firefighter died in an accident only two blocks away from the McCutchanville Fire Department, the truck's home station.
          Having completely forgotten about any travesty, I hopped in my car this morning to take my normal path to the CEF office. En route I saw a new utility pole. I saw deep ruts in the side of the road. Then I remembered. Oh, yes, there were a bunch of people here yesterday. The traffic was down to one lane, Vectren was here, firefighters were here. After I arrived at the office, I saw the headline in the Evansville Courier and Press:

"Colleagues, family and friends mourn McCutchanville firefighter Jeremy R. Tighe"

"That happened right next to my house," I told my managers as I skimmed through the article. And then, "Oh my." In my mind: Lord, have mercy. In my hands I wasn't holding just any newspaper article. I was holding a picture of one of my friends, or acquaintances rather, who had her hands on her head and a distraught look on her face - that look that says: How in the world could this have happened? 

          When I realized that the loss was to a person I've met and had a few conversations with, the emotional dynamic totally changed. In somewhat of a brokenness, I revealed, "I think I know this person." The horrifying thought of that terrible loss lingered in my mind the whole morning. On my way home, there was yet another reminder of the event. A group of people stood huddled in the February wind next to the place where Jeremy Tighe's memorial lay. I pulled over. I stopped. Hesitantly I unbuckled my seat-belt and opened my door. Through the soaked, muddy grass roadside I climbed that hill on St. Joseph - the same hill on which Timothy Wharton, who was 17 years old at the time, died. Wharton was killed in a crash involving drugs; whenever I see the cross with his picture on it, I am reminded of when I saw the ambulances and police on site. But Tighe's death will have a different effect on me; it already has. From this day forward, I will be reminded continually of Wednesday, Febraury 22, 2012. I'll remember seeing that picture in the paper and visiting the place of the accident.

          And hopefully, as was the case today, I will remember that life is mortal and difficult. But God is good, no matter what happens. It ponders me, in times of shock, to think that an all-powerful hand would allow something so heart-breaking, but I know that it is all for His eternal plan. It's all for His purpose, His praise, His glory, His Son, and Himself. When difficulty strikes, we ask "Why?" and look at what the thief has taken. But may we always remember to see what God has left behind as an act of mercy, and may we have faith, the full conviction that He is faithful.

In This His Grace is Sufficient

I have yet to do this, but I thought tonight I would share with you a direct entry from The Journal of Jon. It relates much to yesterday's post:

          I wanted to journal quickly before I returned to studying. In Business we have a test tomorrow. Today I didn't feel like I accomplished much. I felt disoriented, frustrated at times, inefficient, and a little pressed by the demands of school and voice lessons and work. However, yesterday's sermon has been lingering in my mind the past [36] hours or so: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). Indeed, as He promised, His grace is sufficient. I'm struggling with shying away from others. How I want to share my life with them, but I feel as though my past motives have ruined everything; in this His grace is sufficient. How I long to have discipline to complete everything I need to in the time limits given; in this His grace is sufficient. How I long to be the lover and carer God so desires me to be and yet fail; in this His grace is sufficient. How I long for purity and uprightness of character and freedom of sin but fail every hour, every minute; in this His grace is sufficient. How I long to be the brother and son Jesus was and yet stumble in ignorance and pride every day; in this His grace is sufficient. Great is the faithfulness of God! Great is His mercy and compassion! They are new every morning! Great is the grace of God! In all things, His grace is sufficient - more than enough - for me.

Monday, February 20, 2012, 11:15 PM

Dying and Living

          If I were to be completely honest with all of the (five or six) followers of my blog, I would say that today stank. If I were to be completely honest with you, I'd tell you that I felt disconnected from the world; I would say that life felt like a miserable trance. I'd tell you about all of the things that I felt went wrong from the moment I got out of bed to the second I walked into the door of the church building to the minute I left. Maybe I'd even tell you by name every person I avoided and walked away from. If I were really crazy, I might even say that I felt weak and hideous, that I felt like a monster (I wonder if that's what Skillet meant). Maybe I'd go into my thoughts and explain how I'm seriously doubting that any of those followers of this blog will truly care when - and if ever - they read this post. Maybe I'd say that I want to die.

          Or - maybe I would say that though I was horribly weak today, God used Ernie's sermon at the perfect week. Maybe I would tell you that 2 Corinthians 12:9 is what God spoke to me today. Maybe I would say, "Yes! I die EVERY DAY, and I feel like I'm slaughtered all the day long, but somehow I am more than a conqueror." Perhaps I would preach that, though I sinned and stumbled and failed miserably this week, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Maybe I would say that I entered this in my journal last Thursday:

Through my every weakness, I'm seeing more and more of His mercy. It is amazing. Although there are my many weaknesses, His strength is perfected in weakness. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. And if I were to trade it, it would be for someone who is weaker than I am so that I could taste more of that grace of God. Give me that grace, and from it let me drink and drink and drink.

and heard this today:

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

          "I can't do anything" becomes, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" "I'm too weak" turns into, "Christ is my strength." "I can't press on" shifts to, "God's grace is enough for me." Maybe life doesn't depend on me - the same way salvation doesn't depend on me. Maybe it's okay that life stinks sometimes because the hardships reveal God's faithfulness. Maybe I don't have to keep up an act because Christ is the real thing.
          *Maybe I'm simply left to doom in my daily death and continual slaughtering. No. NO! NO! Hardship, distress, persecution, humiliation, hunger, danger, even death itself - NOTHING can steal me from God's grasp or tear me from His love. Not even hell itself can maintain a grip on me, for I have conquered overwhelmingly through the God who loves me and sacrificed His Son for me. A rainy day, a storm, a long night, tears shed, sin committed, evil obtained, infinite height, the breadth and length of the universe, a lack of cash, unemployment, social struggles, love struggles, passion struggles, sexual struggles, sickness struggles, family struggles, personal struggles, classroom struggles, homework struggles, homesick struggles, mystery struggles, frustration, bitterness, pride, hedonism, humanism, Gnosticism, doubt, hesitation, myself, my friends, my lovers, the ones I love, my enemies, the world population, famine, the flu, disease, world hunger, Satan, angels, demons, spirits, philosophies, theories, myths, speculations, rumors, slanders, haters, technology, ice cream, sweat, blood, aches, pains, sleep, animals, dirt, the stars, the sun, the moon, the other galaxies, fashion, idolatry, beauty, ugliness, life, death - none of it - none of it - can separate me from the love of God displayed to its fullest by the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.
          God picked the losers, the weak, the helpless. The mind that created the universe with individual thoughts; the mouth that spoke, "Let there be!" and there was; the face who is too holy to even get a glimpse of; the feet on which people wept and begged and kissed; the arms that were stretched out for the sins of the world; the God who gave life its name - He is yelling out to me, "My grace is more than enough for you! It is greater than anything you are facing. My love is more than enough for you! I am more than enough for you. I am Life. I am Truth. I am everything. And I chose you before the foundation of the world just so that you could come and walk with Me and eat with Me and depend on Me and be happy because of Me and find everything you ever wanted in Me. I'm the One you're looking for. Yes, storms will come, but My promise is that I will never leave you; I will never turn My back on you because My Father turned His back on Me for you. I love you; I love you more than you could ever know."








* This paragraph is a paraphrase of Romans 8:36-39. Multiple Scripture references are used here (Php. 4; Eph. 1; Gen. 1-3; Ps. 37; Heb. 13; etc.), but I did not cite them all.

I have what I want, but it's not a job

          The gap between my last post and this one is a reflection of the busyness of my life the past few weeks, especially this week. Yesterday has gone down in The Journal of Jon as the busiest day of the semester so far. Unfortunately that included sleeping through an important appointment I had set up with a pastor - ouch! However, I was able to amend - in a practical sense - for that mistake. On a brighter note, yesterday was the start of my new job! Yes, finally I have been hired. And not by just any company. I've been hired by CEF to replace Debbie as the office assistant here in Evansville. I couldn't be more excited.
          Going without a job is a very important thing, and it is my firm conviction that every believer should experience the process at one point or another. Granted, I'm speaking as a 17-year-old who has only had one job at a fast food place. But still there was that stress and uncertainty there: Will they get back to me? Did they approve of my application? Do they have a position? Am I too young? If I get turned down, will I be able to keep paying for gas? Should I ask my parents for help? This is where God's promises changed my life. Earlier in the week, I had the opportunity of reading Matthew 11:28-30:

   “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

How wonderful that rest is! And that's not to mention the assurance of Luke 12:6-7:

Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.

Also there is the declaration of Paul in 1 Timothy 6:8: "If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content." How content Paul was! This is further demonstrated in Philippians 4:

 ¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. ¹¹ Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. ¹² I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. ¹³ I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

I never went hungry. I never suffered need. I have never suffered as Jesus or Paul or any of the apostles or martyrs did. But even if I had, God's grace would still be sufficient to cover me! His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Enough said. I am satisfied in the provision, care, kindness, and grace of God.
          This isn't where I was originally planning to go with this post, but it is well: this is a lesson that has been encompassing every area of my life. "The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not be in want" (Psalm 23:1). Yes, God provides. And not only does He provide, He has freely given me all things in giving me Himself (Psalm 37:4) and His own Son:

 ²⁸ And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ²⁹ For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;³⁰ and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

 ³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? ³² He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? ³³ Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; ³⁴ who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. ³⁵ Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ³⁶ Just as it is written,

   “FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.”

 ³⁷ But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8).

I Deleted My Google+ Account for This

          Although, at the present time, I do not fully understand why, God has been sending me messages about modesty. Through a blogger I read one woman's side of the issue; through the book Worldliness I heard C.J. Mahaney's perspective. In the chapter entitled "God, My Heart, and Clothing" there are young men's personal accounts of their struggles in the war on lust. One college student said the following:

I'm thankful God has created me to be attracted to women; however, campus is a loaded minefield... To make it through the day unscathed, I have to be actively engaging my mind - praying, quoting Scripture, listening to worship music, or looking at the sidewalk. Many days it takes all four to be safe (Worldliness, p. 126).

Wow! Many days. Not just some days. Now there's a college student who is out to win the war. It is evident in the way that he fights his battles.
          Here is another excerpt from a different young man:

When women that I'm friends with dress immodestly, it definitely has a negative effect on our friendship. When a woman dresses immodestly, it doesn't make it easy to see her as a sister in Christ. There's a constant battle going on as I'm talking with her... When women dress modestly, it's attractive and it makes me want to hang out with them more. I think modesty is so attractive and helpful in friendships because it makes it easier for a friendship to be centered around God and for fellowship to be unhindered (Ibid. p. 128).

          Now, I could go on and on with other quotes from different books I've read and courses I've taken on this issue, but that really isn't necessary. It is critical that every woman in the church realizes that every man, outside and inside the church, struggles with lust. (Women outside the church need to realize this too, but they must first receive the gospel).
          In case there is any chance of a Christian woman reading this blog entry, I will say this: godly men don't want to hide your beauty. The human body is a wonderful thing, but it is our own sinfulness that creates shame and lust. Thank you so much - and by "so much" I mean more than I can describe - to all of you who are such wonderful examples of godliness in the way you dress. Your sanctification seen in the way you dress is more beautiful than any dress, shirt, or swimsuit could ever compare to.