O God, I am Trash

I'm beginning again to ponder some of the same questions that used to push me harder after Christ than any other. The gist of it is this: do I love God enough to give up every possession I own, all of my friends and family, my good-standing in the world, my comfort, and even my own life? Some of the people who have known me for more than three or four years remember my life as a young believer, and quite honestly I'm ashamed of where I am today compared to what my passion for Christ was half a decade ago.

It's an interesting thing that before Jesus prayed, "Give us this day our daily bread," He first said, "Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come; Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven" (Matt. 6:9-13). We read into the Bible what we want out of it. Everyone knows 1 John 1:9, but who knows verses like Ephesians 4:22-24? We all love a good Psalm 23, but no one can stomach Psalm 69 (we treat chapters of the Bible like beer we like or dislike). Why is Ezekiel 3:16-21 is new information to us?

[I know I'm not supposed to answer rhetorical questions, but I need a wake-up: it's because I never read Ezekiel].

So many times in my life I have come to this very same point - that of seeing the poor and feeling for them, seeing the Church and longing to serve them, and seeing Christ and desiring Him - and I have determined, I'm ready to give up how I'm living now to follow Christ with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. I will give up everything. Apparently I keep forgetting.

America, the best thing you could have said this morning is, "O God, my life is a wreck. I'm like trash. Save me." And you could use your $16 trillion to help impoverished nations that are less than 1000 miles off your coast. But you won't do that. Will you? You're too caught up in plasma TVs, hybrids, the next iSomething, black Friday, hosting the family for the holidays (the holidays, not Christmas), and the latest fashion. You're too worried about politics, possessions, and particulars to help the poor.

O God, my life is a wreck. I'm like trash. But I'd rather die than live without You. Save me.

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water" (Ps. 63:1).

Hear this blood-stained-sealed-and-verified quote from Jim Elliot, a missionary to South America who died trying to reach people with the gospel. And let it pierce you as it pierced me: 

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

The Most Difficult Verse in the Whole Bible

Luke 14:33

So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.

F-E-A-R

Fear haunts the past, sours the present, and does absolutely nothing for the future.
Fear steals sleep and makes time awake miserable.
Fear makes a person shake when in open and cower in the dark.
Fear steals joy and replaces it with sadness.
Fear creates wounds it cannot heal.
Fear infuses shame it cannot undo.
Fear insists that I am God.
Fear insists that God is limited to humanly possible things.
Fear makes humanly possible things impossible.
Fear crushes the soul and makes way for the devil.
Fear hinders thought and ability and claims them impossible.

Fear is conquered by the conqueror.
Fear is defeated by the fearless.
Fear is cast out only by love.

Christ conquered.
The Spirit empowers us to face all things.
God is love.

Our Suffering is Evidence of God's Love

Perhaps this is not the typical Happy-Thanksgiving-I'm-thankful-for-x-y-and-z blog post, but as I was thinking through some things today this came to mind.

Do you ever wonder Where is God? Yes, of course you do. Everyone does. And it always seems to happen in the most difficult of circumstances, doesn't it? For me personally, I tend to wonder where God is when I am struggling with a certain sin, and of course that sin always involves doubt of His goodness.

Perhaps right now you are, as I am, looking for a job and find it quite stressful. Run all over town, apply, apply, apply, apply. Then nothing. God, where are You?

Or maybe you struggle with anger. You read God's word and try to do your best until one day you just explode. God, why did You let me do that. Help me. Where are You?

Let's put this on a national scale: the U.S. strives so hard to take the engraving "IN GOD WE TRUST" off her coins and paper money. She pushes God out of the schools and takes down the Ten Commandments from as many public places as possible. Essentially, she says, "God, get out." 

Then 9-11 happens.

Where is God?

I have a proposition. And this proposition is like none I have had for quite some time: God makes us feel distant from Him because He loves us. If thought through, we can almost immediately affirm this because God does all that He does because He loves us. He is "righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made" (Psalm 145:17, NIV84). "We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28, NASB). He works all things for our good, not only His. Life does not have to be this way, but it is because God loves us.

But how can our distance from God be an act of love? Would it not be more loving for God to spare the lives of those in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? Why does He allow us to sin? Wouldn't it be more kind of Him to deliver us from such evil? To answer these questions, let us imagine ourselves fully aware of God's presence after such adversities.

It's the 13th day you've been making a conscious effort to overcome your anger issues. Life has been stressful lately. Your spouse is irritable, your little kids are yelling and running around the house naked, you have piles of work to do. This morning is just too much, so when little Bobby hits Suzy, you yell at him. Immediately your conscience feels turned inside-out. You have a terrible feeling in your stomach. God, where are You? Why did You let me blow up? Why am I this way?

All of a sudden, you have an unusual experience of God's presence. It feels as though He's standing next to you. Then all of those things that we skim over in the Bible come to life: this is Yahweh whose name sounds like a whisper. He sits enthroned above angels who cover their faces and cry out, "Holy, holy, holy!" This is the God no man can see, the one who sustains your very existence - and that of the entire universe - by His word.

I don't know about you, but sometimes when I think about God I am filled with an awesome sense of terror. Why? Because we have no clue who He is. We say things like, "I love Jesus" and, "God is good" without even giving a second thought to what His very Name - His holy Name, YHWH - means or the kind of glory He dwells in or the holiness He is. "It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Heb. 10:31, NASB).

Terrifying.

Okay, okay, but what if He just delivers me from the sin altogether and I don't have to ask the question, Where are You?

What is the result of our asking? In asking, we receive. In seeking, we find. God makes His children so desperate for Him that they actually begin to pray and seek Him (amazing, isn't it?). 

This is the entire reason God created this universe. He made us with a capacity to sin and fall into temptation. Of an infinite possibility of universes, He made this one because this one brings Him the most glory. In this universe He is able to display His grace to the full. He lavishes His love to the utmost. He works all things for our good, even the most evil things. (And is it not a more amazing thing that God works evil for our good than just good for our good?).

Glorious.

Magnificent.

Angels long to look into what we humans possess (1 Pet. 1:12) because they cannot possess it. They do not know what restoration is or what grace feels like. They have never fallen to their knees in appreciation for receiving God's mercy.

Yes, suffering is what makes this world the best of all worlds. It is far more glorious than a perfect world. "Why does God allow evil and things displease him in his story? So that they can be defeated" (N.D. Wilson).

The atheist may question and insult all he wants, but this is something the atheist (and most Christians even) has always missed: God allows suffering because He loves us.

Why I Listen to Rap

A more accurate title for this post would be "Why I Listen to the 116 Clique." However, since most of my readers probably have no idea who the 116 Clique is, I have placed the existing title.

I was recently asked to consider the use of music in worshiping God. After contemplating why I listen to the music I listen to, I have come to these 10 reasons for listening to Christian hip-hop - or, as Lecrae calls it, "responsible hip-hop"1:

1. It "stimulate[s]... to love and good deeds" (Heb. 10:24). When I first began listening to Christian rap in 2009, I was amazed by how powerful the songs were and how they motivated me to serve Christ by sharing the gospel and ministering to the poor. The album Rebel was foundational to this.

2. It is comprised of "spiritual songs" (Eph. 5:19), rich with spiritual truth and praise to God. I'll be honest here: I favor responsible hip-hop over any other genre in music because of this. The deepest theological truths and the most sincere testimonies and praises I have ever heard in songs have come from this genre.

3. It emphasizes the unity of the Christian faith.2 I remember once listening to Francis Chan speak about how people worship God through song in China. He described people singing while a man was beating a drum. Of course, to his American ears, it sounded terrible. People in Africa dance. That's weird to us. I would never dance in my church. It's different.

But different isn't wrong. Ultimately God is not concerned whether we sing to Him in rock, hip-hop, acapella, classical, or folk. He is seeking people who worship Him "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:23). So to deny that an a person in Asia who is worshiping God in spirit and in truth really isn't worshiping God because of how different it sounds is absolutely wrong. That type of thinking naturally leads to, "Well, since they can't worship God, they're not saved, nor can they be."

Realize I am not trying to force any kind of music on anyone. Honestly, there are some genres of music that I can hardly bring myself to call music. To my ears, it just sounds like screeching. But if we are to totally deny a genre arguing that it cannot be used for worship, we take a giant step toward racism and a false gospel. The rejection of a person based on the type of music he listens to is selfishness. It's the kind of "Christianity" that says, "To love God, you have to love Him the way I do, sing the songs I sing, and think the way I think." Or, in simpler terms, "I am God."

Music is just a shadow. Let us not try to make it the substance (see Col. 2:16-17;
Rom. 14:13-14).


So there you are: three reasons I listen to this genre. And if you think you would benefit from it, go ahead and listen to some of the following. These are some of my favorite songs:

- Background by Lecrae
- Open Letter (Battlefield) by KB
- Make War by Tedashii
- Don't Waste Your Life by Lecrae
- New Reality by Lecrae
- Urban Missionary by Thi'sl
- Far Away by Lecrae


Notes
1. Lecrae Moore, one of the founders of the 116 Clique, used this term in an interview with ESPN. The interview can be read here.
2. For more on this subject, see John Piper, Bloodlines.

The Root of All Sin

I began an earlier post by asking what defines a "bad day." In that post, I equated the action of looking at self and not looking at God with a bad day. But why? Why is looking at self and not looking at God such a big deal?

1. We have been created to give God glory (Eph. 2:10; Matt. 5:16).
One of my new favorite quotes is from St. Augustine: "You have made us for Yourself, O LORD, and our heart is restless until it rests in You." God's glory, foremost His glory in the cross, is the root of our joy. If we are made to give God glory - to know Him and to make Him known - nothing else will satisfy.

2. Sin is defined as falling short of God's glory (Rom. 3:23).
The Greek word for sin, ἁμαρτάνω, taken literally means missing the mark. God has a standard, and we have missed it. He is something that we are not (see Ps. 50:21). Our sin is choosing anything other than Him and thus falling short of His glory.

3. Our missing of God's glory leads to the exchange of God's glory (Rom. 1:18-23).
Sin leads to exchanging the incorruptible God for corruptible images. What do you see that is anything less than God? What is corruptible? Money, makeup, face, sex, video games, TV, music, jewelry, clothing - valuing any one of these as greater than or equal to God is the exchange of His glory.


And here we find ourselves, attempting to take the place of God, ultimately worshiping our pleasure rather than pursuing it in God. I'm not just talking about the unregenerate; this is the root of all sin. And from this heinous selfishness we come up with a man-centered - not a Christ-centered - Christianity, a Christianity that says,

"You are more than flesh and bone;
Don't you see you're something beautiful?
Yeah, you gotta believe, He wants you to see:
You're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known.
Oh you gotta believe, you gotta believe
That you are someone worth dying for."
~Mikeschair, "Someone Worthy Dying For"

(I wonder if Satan could have written a more terrible thing).

"I can feel your mystery moving in my hands and feet Leading me through disbelief, finding strength when I feel weak. You make the most of me. You make the most of me."~Marie Miller, "Make the Most of Me"

I could go on and on. Sadly this train of thought is prevalent in Christian music. We make up a religion that's about us and not about God. We view God as our slave rather than ourselves as God's slaves. God's work is primarily to make the most of us, not to make the most of Himself.

But there is something else in need of saying: "Christian" music is not the problem - I am.* If stones be thrown, they should be thrown at me first because I have this attitude in my own sinful heart every day. I fight, but it is always there.

O God, be glorified in our lives for Your sake. Cause us to squelch this pride which is the root of all our sin. Remove us from the ultimate picture and be praised among the nations.

"Take all my cravings for vain recognition Fleshly indulgence and worldly ambition I want so much Lord to make You the focus To serve You in secret and never be noticed"~Sovereign Grace Music, "Surrender All"

It's evident You run the show, so let me back down.You take the leading role, and I'll play the background.I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines;I'm sticking to Your script, and I'm reading all Your signs.I don't need my name in lights. I don't need a starring role.And why gain the whole wide world, if I'm just gon' loose my soul.And my ways ain't purified - I'll live according to Your Word.I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard.So word to every dancer for a pop star,Cause we all play the background, but mine's a Rock Star.Yeah. So if you need me I'll be stage right.Prayin' the whole world will start embracing stage fright.So let me fall back and stop giving my suggestions,Cause when I follow my obsessions I end up confessing.That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact I'm who I are:A trail of star dust leading to the Superstar.~Lecrae, "Background"

* When a newspaper editor once asked "What is the problem with the world?" G.K. Chesterton wrote back responding, "I am."

Life in a Few Seconds

As a child I was told I had a disorder;

as a teenager I believed it.

I've gone into many places with confidence,

but I have left many of those places defeated.

There have been summers full of joy,

but the winters inevitably bring sorrow.

I have loved

and seen no return.

I have withheld love,

but I have been loved anyway.

There have been seasons of striving

and not getting.

There have been times of waiting

and finally receiving.

Prayers have been offered

and have been answered.

When no prayers were offered,

my needs were still met.

Some prayers were never answered as I had prayed;

some prayers I never prayed were answered.

You may run,

but you cannot hide.

You can fake,

but you cannot deceive.

Sometimes I do not see,

but many times I perceive.

Love is better than life;

living is Christ.

Love is as strong as death;

dying is gain.

And all of God's people will know it when we see our Savior face to face, run to Him, fall at His feet, and worship Him.

"The chief end of God is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

"The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever."

For "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

All quotes by John Piper.

Scripture references: Psalm 63:3; Philippians 1:21; Song of Solomon 8:6.

Why True Compassion Hurts

*This picture is hard to stomach*

Simply put, compassion is feeling the hurts and needs of others and desiring to do something about it. It's feeling what others feel. Compassion hurts because other people hurt.

The following picture is one more reason I have compassion for impoverished nations and global missions:

1. She is obviously malnourished - her ribs are visible.

2. She has no clothes - she's too poor.

3. She is about to die - the vulture is waiting for it.

4. Most of America is sitting on its couch, having no regard for or no idea of the poverty faced across the globe. This need could be met easily by just one person in this country.

New Blog Alert

At long last, I have created my new blog as promised; it's called Life in the Love of God. The main purpose of the blog is to provide devotional thoughts on the Psalms every day. My prayer is that many readers will benefit daily from God's word through this blog. By the beginning of next week, I plan to be posting in it. If you find this blog helpful, feel free to start following this new one at lifeintheloveofgod.blogspot.com.

For the Beauty, the Glory, the Joy

I'll repeat briefly what I have drawn out in an earlier post: our five physical senses exist to sharpen our five spiritual senses.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Be- snooze.

Fifteen minutes later: beep. Beep. Beep. Be- off. 5:45 A.M.

No, no, no - don't get back in bed. This is too good to miss.

After I stagger in the dark for a while, I make my way to the bathroom and pop out my retainer then brush my teeth. I glance to the window; it's still dark - just what I want. So I make my way to a room void of people and peppered with books. No, I do not turn on the light right away. Rather, I move over to the window pane. The eastern horizon is a glowing orange. I look down into the field and see fog rising above the frost. But this is not enough. I must feel. I find myself not moments later opening the door to the outside. And I feel.

The November air is harder than October, but we're still friends. I love November. I willingly offer myself to her, and she gently nips. Her cool air meets my warm face. Inhale. Yes, she is fragrant. The still water on the lake yonder reflects the first light of the morning and the trees on the hill beyond.

From the first light of the morning
To the last warm glow of dusk,
Every breath we take is mercy,
For it is God's grace to us.

After I go inside, I hear a bird singing. She doesn't know it, but I listen to her song.

And my heart sings with her and with the whole of the morning. The beauty of this creation is unfathomable. It is more real, more alive than had ever thought possible - this is like Heaven. And I begin to ponder what the other places of the world must be. Sure, I have seen the Grand Canyon, the mountains in Colorado, the plains of North Texas and Eastern New Mexico, the deep blue shores of Lake Michigan, orange and red leaves of the Midwest, the sands of South Carolina and Florida, the East Coast, Arizona sunsets, and many Indiana sunrises. But what about a European waterfall? What does the setting sun on the Saharan Desert look like? Show me the Nile. Lead me to Angel Falls.

I can only imagine.

And it nearly breaks me. The very thought is almost too much.

And how much more beautiful is the God who made it all.



For the beauty of the earth,
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies -

Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love -
Brother, parent, sister, child -
Saints below and saints above
For all gentle thoughts and mild.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.

Looking to the East

Looking to the East

11/7/12, 6:29 A.M.

Gazing through the morning glass,

Waiting for the watch to pass -

And thus my prayers will not be ceased,

For I am looking to the East.

I am falling on my knees

Until the light burns through the trees.

Lest I rise and I be done,

Father, lead me to the Sun.

Now I peer expectantly.

"Son of David! Let me see!"

Star of Bethlehem, arise;

Open up my longing eyes.

Until with saints my eyes are blest

And I lean upon Your breast,

Until the morn we dance and feast -

My eyes are looking to the East.

Tasting and Seeing

What defines a "bad day"? Physical comfort, emotion, circumstances, feelings, reputation, family? Perhaps we should try to answer this by taking another route: what defines a good day? What is goodness? Who defines it? How can some days be good and some days be bad?

Yesterday was a bad day for me. (I'll say that a bad day is when I look at myself or my situations and not at Jesus. A bad day is when I exchange God for something lesser). As I was attempting to stay busy at work at the office, it seems that I couldn't help but become a little discouraged. Why were my worries preventing me from seeing the joy in Christ? How could the joy of salvation be restored to me?

But something drastic happened: I began to look. After I popped a mint into my mouth, I was reminded what I read earlier in the day: "The earth, O LORD, is full of your steadfast love" (Ps. 119:64). Immediately I was amazed. As I continued to savor the mint, I became struck by the fact that I could taste. And not only could I taste, but I could feel the mint on my tongue. I could rub my fingers together, and I felt it. I then glanced around the room to be met by trillions of details; I could see! And as I walked back to my desk, I could hear my own footsteps on the floor.

This week God made a critical connection in my mind: my physical senses exist to glorify Him in leading me to my spiritual senses. My tongue exists so that I can understand, at least in part, what I means to taste the goodness of God (Ps. 34:8). My eyes have been designed in such an intricate way so as to see an infinite amount of information and beauty and colour so that I can understand that God's goodness is beautiful. I hear and learn to recognize decibels so that I can be reminded to learn what the spiritual voice of my Shepherd sounds like (John 10:27). The touch so intricately placed on the epidermis of my hands reminds me that I am held in the hand of someone greater (John 10:28). My smell of hot coffee, a burning candle, perfume, soap, a friend, washed clothes, or freshly baked bread reminds me of the fragrant aroma of Christ (Eph. 5:2).

God's love is everywhere, and until this week I didn't understand this aspect of seeing. I was once the blind man that cried out, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" He restored my sight. And yet to this day, I cry out the very same thing. And to this day - day by day - I am seeing more and more.

A Conversation with Jesus

It's the story retold. I go to pray, I pause, I pray, I falter, I fail. And eventually all I can say is, "Help me." Then again, that's not a bad thing to pray. Yet there is unrest in my spirit. I'm not satisfied - not yet. So I become like Jacob and try to wrestle. Oh, that I would have the strength of that heel-grabber!

But no. My strength fails me.

So I skip ahead. Rather than wrestle all afternoon as Jacob did all night, I jump to his request: the blessing. Will I receive the reward without the means? And yet all I am is spent. I'm weary of spiritual things and full of worldly ambition.

"God, I want to be still. But I am totally dependent on You. I need You to 'enlarge my heart' that I may obey You. O God, 'unite my heart to fear Your name.' It is only Your grace that allows me to follow. Give me that grace, God."

For a moment I am still.

"Thank You."

And as I ponder the lusts in the world, I begin to see the vanity. So I ask Him,
"What am I waiting for, Father? To whom shall I go?"

His Son, still interceding, enters the conversation:
"'You do not want to go away also, do you?'"

And I give the same response as His little rock did:
"'Lord, to whom shall [I] go? You have the words of eternal life.'" I continue, "'And now, O Lord, for what do I wait. My hope is in you.' What do I have if I have not You? Apart from You, what is there?"

Jesus does not respond, for He knows He does not need to. Now I see. And thus I come to the conclusion:

"'You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.'"





Genesis 32:24-30; Psalms 16:2; 39:7; 46:10; 86:11; 119:32; John 6:66-67.

C.S. Lewis on Praise and Enjoyment

For much of his life - especially his life as an atheist - C.S. Lewis was troubled by the fact that God demanded praise. In his work Reflections on the Psalms this trouble was set to rest as he discovered why it is not unloving for God to demand our praise; it is most loving because, as he says, "praise not only expresses but completes the enjoyment":

The most obvious fact about praise — whether of God or any thing — strangely escaped me. I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honor. I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless . . . shyness or the fear of boring others is deliberately brought in to check it. The world rings with praise — lovers praising their mistresses, readers their favorite poet, walkers praising the countryside, players praising their favorite game — praise of weather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, even sometimes politicians or scholars. I had not noticed how the humblest, and at the same time most balanced and capacious, minds, praised most, while the cranks, misfits and malcontents praised least.…
I had not noticed either that just as men spontaneously praise whatever they value, so they spontaneously urge us to join them in praising it: “Isn’t she lovely? Wasn’t it glorious? Don’t you think that magnificent?” The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about. My whole, more general, difficulty about the praise of God depended on my absurdly denying to us, as regards the supremely Valuable, what we delight to do, what indeed we can’t help doing, about everything else we value.
I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not  merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is it’s appointed consummation. It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one another how beautiful they are; the delight is incomplete till it is expressed.

Tangible Godly Life

Scripture is deep. Sometimes it's difficult to grasp the concepts that are somewhat abstract to our vernacular. What do the words heart and statute mean? This creates a problem: if we do not understand what Scripture says, we will not understand what it demands. So sometimes it's good to pick words apart and replace the actual word with a clear concept of its definition. Normally we don't have to do this with words like go or sing. We know what these words mean.

But some of the most important passages in the Bible on Christian living use terms that are not common speech. The following is an example. This is a paraphrase of Colossians 3:12-14. I pray it will be useful to you as it has been useful to me. First, take time to read what I first read (the original passage in the HCSB):

Colossians 3:12-14 (HCSB)
12 Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. 14 Above all, put on love - the perfect bond of unity.


Paraphrased
12 Because of the unity of Christ, loved and holy ones, attach these things to yourselves:

heartfelt sympathy and mercy toward others, actions of goodness, consideration of others' needs and desires, kind understanding of each other, and long-suffering and endurance with one another.

13 In doing these things, refuse to let any bitterness or anger cause you to hold prejudice against another, and do not hold against each other the sins that Christ did not count against you.
14 If nothing else, do this - it is most important of all:
become selfless in your mindset, spirit, and works of charity and consideration for the benefit of each other; this is the fetter which fastens us to peaceful fellowship.