For the first time in quite a long time, I feel as though my faith is moving toward that place in which it should rest. For now I see in part; I am but a child. And thus I have many questions.
Why did circumstances take this turn? (No, LORD. Please, not now). My prayers - when I actually pray - are so broken and garbled. I can't pray for 15 straight minutes.
And others - why can't I get to them? I had the opportunity last Sunday to stand in front of 250-300 people and officially say nothing of significance. I told what to me is a moving story. What came out of that? From my perspective, I'm seeing next to nothing.
Was I expecting too much? Did I not have enough time? Am I incompetent to relay my heart for children? Does anyone care?
One hundred thirty-two - it's easily just a number. The hundreds column has a 1, the tens has a 3, and the ones has a 2. 1-3-2. 132. One-thirty-two children we reached this summer. ONE-THIRTY-TWO. And we had over twenty - that's two, zero - 5-Day Clubs.
Four years ago, when I started teaching children, those were just numbers to me too. But now they are so much more. They are faces, eternal souls ready to be damned if they do not repent and believe the gospel.
There is no possible way to end this blog post comfortably. A good ending has an answer, and I have no answers at all. I simply have but one resolution:
I trust in Christ alone.
Yes, as you say the numbers are SO much more than just numbers. They are souls that have been reached with the eternity-changing Gospel of salvation.
ReplyDeleteCEF (which is part of CYIA) in whole has reached over 12 million people worldwide. I don't see that as a number at all!