What is life? On a tangible level, what should living look like?
For some reason, I don't think our lives should be basically easy. Perhaps an accurate gauge of where we are spiritually is an assessment of how we struggle. Some good questions to ask:
- Is my struggle leading me to prayer?
- Am I still yearning for the Word of God?
- Is this difficulty causing me to love others more?
- How am I changing?
- Am I being led to a greater obedience of God's Word?
- Am I thanking God for this?
And of course there are several others. The key is that we ask questions that will cause us to see where our struggles are taking us. From seeing such, we must observe that which is beneficial and resolve to change that which is not. Make your struggle worth it.
This is something I am personally learning right now. Perhaps now more than ever I am being challenged to simply obey. Many difficulties are complicated - this isn't. All at once, I'm faced with multiple decisions on obedience to the word of God. And it's changing me... for the good. My comfort zone is diminishing.
So take heart. Put your head down, and just obey. Never waste your hardships.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
132
For the first time in quite a long time, I feel as though my faith is moving toward that place in which it should rest. For now I see in part; I am but a child. And thus I have many questions.
Why did circumstances take this turn? (No, LORD. Please, not now). My prayers - when I actually pray - are so broken and garbled. I can't pray for 15 straight minutes.
And others - why can't I get to them? I had the opportunity last Sunday to stand in front of 250-300 people and officially say nothing of significance. I told what to me is a moving story. What came out of that? From my perspective, I'm seeing next to nothing.
Was I expecting too much? Did I not have enough time? Am I incompetent to relay my heart for children? Does anyone care?
One hundred thirty-two - it's easily just a number. The hundreds column has a 1, the tens has a 3, and the ones has a 2. 1-3-2. 132. One-thirty-two children we reached this summer. ONE-THIRTY-TWO. And we had over twenty - that's two, zero - 5-Day Clubs.
Four years ago, when I started teaching children, those were just numbers to me too. But now they are so much more. They are faces, eternal souls ready to be damned if they do not repent and believe the gospel.
There is no possible way to end this blog post comfortably. A good ending has an answer, and I have no answers at all. I simply have but one resolution:
I trust in Christ alone.
Why did circumstances take this turn? (No, LORD. Please, not now). My prayers - when I actually pray - are so broken and garbled. I can't pray for 15 straight minutes.
And others - why can't I get to them? I had the opportunity last Sunday to stand in front of 250-300 people and officially say nothing of significance. I told what to me is a moving story. What came out of that? From my perspective, I'm seeing next to nothing.
Was I expecting too much? Did I not have enough time? Am I incompetent to relay my heart for children? Does anyone care?
One hundred thirty-two - it's easily just a number. The hundreds column has a 1, the tens has a 3, and the ones has a 2. 1-3-2. 132. One-thirty-two children we reached this summer. ONE-THIRTY-TWO. And we had over twenty - that's two, zero - 5-Day Clubs.
Four years ago, when I started teaching children, those were just numbers to me too. But now they are so much more. They are faces, eternal souls ready to be damned if they do not repent and believe the gospel.
There is no possible way to end this blog post comfortably. A good ending has an answer, and I have no answers at all. I simply have but one resolution:
I trust in Christ alone.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Good and Evil Pleasures
Why are we so easily angered?
This is a question I have been pondering the past couple weeks. Forgive me if I rant: the thoughts are hard to put into words, and the memories and struggles seem overwhelming.
Last spring I had a vivid dream. I'm not sure exactly what I was doing, but I know it was a flashback to my childhood. My younger brother, Aaron, and I spent much of our time outside as young fun-loving boys. We brought the sports of two-man football, 1-on-1 basketball, and two-man baseball to the Ross home. Oftentimes our playing was interrupted (the "you cheated"/"no I didn't" kind of thing). It was all too easy for me to explode. And so I did in this dream, and I explicitly remember declaring a phrase I did once or twice as a child and have since regretted: I hate you.
The second my eyes opened, I was still wondering if the nightmare was really true. It felt real. And I remembered better who I was and what God saved me from becoming. Yet another dream I had this summer in which a similar circumstance happened. (Ironically I ran away in that one rather than exploding). Again it served as a reminder, almost a haunting reminder. Oh, what have I done?!
The Question: Where and How?
Anger stole much of my life, and it has been something I've been struggling with lately. So where does this beast come from? Even more, how do we beat it?
The Root: Entitlement
James tells me that I have evil pleasures that fight in me. When I want something and don't get it, I take it out. When I desire and don't obtain, I fight. And the root of such evil yearnings is that I want to spend on myself, pamper myself, exalt myself, and build my own kingdom to my own happiness and exaltation. I'm an adulterer (James 4:1-4).
In a United States where we have fast food, instant messaging, QuickTrip, Fast Break, In n' Out, instant photo sharing, easy Facebook statuses, priority email, bluetooth, and every what-have-you gadget and gizmo that makes life "easy" and fast, it's easy to be impatient. When I don't get my way on my agenda, I complain. My mind makes up arguments to justify my own sinful behavior and condemn that of others. I get annoyed when someone does something I don't like.
The Solution: A Greater Grace
"God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). This reward is greater than any pleasure I could possibly be angry over. Humility is an all-encompassing antidote; grace is an all-encompassing reward.
Maybe if I were to spend a moment or two thinking about the 3.6 billion people who have unlimited access to that which damns them (creation) and no access to the news that can save them (the gospel), things would be different. If I realized that I can make more money in a week than the average Hatian makes in a year, perhaps that new iWhatever wouldn't be such a necessity after all. What if I placed my priority in giving? And what if it turned out to be better than getting? Maybe 10% isn't the limit. Maybe the norm needs to change.
I look around me and I see beautifully arranged Wisconsin forest. Several days of the week I see a few beautiful deer. My taste buds savor French toast, Dr. Pepper, and other delicious foods. My teeth are protected my toothpaste, something most of the world doesn't have. I have a Dad and a Mom, and that's not always a given, nor will it be guaranteed tomorrow. This weekend I coddled and loved on my second cousins, and the more I put into them the more I received back.
Is this not enough? What more do I have?
Football, furniture, transportation, employment, coffee, technology, clothing, liberty. Look at the sky! Walk in the sunrise. Celebrate the setting sun. Run in the rain. Contemplate the butterflies. Hug friends. Kiss your kids. Be intimate with your spouse.
Give up all the cramming and scrapping for something satisfying you can force into your heart, and delight your heart in God. See yourself in your sin, then behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Open your eyes to the Father freely offering the greatest gift - His only Son - and come to anticipate that He will therefore withhold no good thing from those who love Him. Love God. Be awestruck at His gospel of grace.
And be thankful.
This is a question I have been pondering the past couple weeks. Forgive me if I rant: the thoughts are hard to put into words, and the memories and struggles seem overwhelming.
Last spring I had a vivid dream. I'm not sure exactly what I was doing, but I know it was a flashback to my childhood. My younger brother, Aaron, and I spent much of our time outside as young fun-loving boys. We brought the sports of two-man football, 1-on-1 basketball, and two-man baseball to the Ross home. Oftentimes our playing was interrupted (the "you cheated"/"no I didn't" kind of thing). It was all too easy for me to explode. And so I did in this dream, and I explicitly remember declaring a phrase I did once or twice as a child and have since regretted: I hate you.
The second my eyes opened, I was still wondering if the nightmare was really true. It felt real. And I remembered better who I was and what God saved me from becoming. Yet another dream I had this summer in which a similar circumstance happened. (Ironically I ran away in that one rather than exploding). Again it served as a reminder, almost a haunting reminder. Oh, what have I done?!
The Question: Where and How?
Anger stole much of my life, and it has been something I've been struggling with lately. So where does this beast come from? Even more, how do we beat it?
The Root: Entitlement
James tells me that I have evil pleasures that fight in me. When I want something and don't get it, I take it out. When I desire and don't obtain, I fight. And the root of such evil yearnings is that I want to spend on myself, pamper myself, exalt myself, and build my own kingdom to my own happiness and exaltation. I'm an adulterer (James 4:1-4).
In a United States where we have fast food, instant messaging, QuickTrip, Fast Break, In n' Out, instant photo sharing, easy Facebook statuses, priority email, bluetooth, and every what-have-you gadget and gizmo that makes life "easy" and fast, it's easy to be impatient. When I don't get my way on my agenda, I complain. My mind makes up arguments to justify my own sinful behavior and condemn that of others. I get annoyed when someone does something I don't like.
The Solution: A Greater Grace
"God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). This reward is greater than any pleasure I could possibly be angry over. Humility is an all-encompassing antidote; grace is an all-encompassing reward.
Maybe if I were to spend a moment or two thinking about the 3.6 billion people who have unlimited access to that which damns them (creation) and no access to the news that can save them (the gospel), things would be different. If I realized that I can make more money in a week than the average Hatian makes in a year, perhaps that new iWhatever wouldn't be such a necessity after all. What if I placed my priority in giving? And what if it turned out to be better than getting? Maybe 10% isn't the limit. Maybe the norm needs to change.
I look around me and I see beautifully arranged Wisconsin forest. Several days of the week I see a few beautiful deer. My taste buds savor French toast, Dr. Pepper, and other delicious foods. My teeth are protected my toothpaste, something most of the world doesn't have. I have a Dad and a Mom, and that's not always a given, nor will it be guaranteed tomorrow. This weekend I coddled and loved on my second cousins, and the more I put into them the more I received back.
Is this not enough? What more do I have?
Football, furniture, transportation, employment, coffee, technology, clothing, liberty. Look at the sky! Walk in the sunrise. Celebrate the setting sun. Run in the rain. Contemplate the butterflies. Hug friends. Kiss your kids. Be intimate with your spouse.
Give up all the cramming and scrapping for something satisfying you can force into your heart, and delight your heart in God. See yourself in your sin, then behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Open your eyes to the Father freely offering the greatest gift - His only Son - and come to anticipate that He will therefore withhold no good thing from those who love Him. Love God. Be awestruck at His gospel of grace.
And be thankful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)